Most people know that Henry Miller was a great American writer. He’s most famous for Tropic of Cancer which was banned in America for decades due to the sexual content. Most people don’t realize he was also a skilled painter. He learned from Picasso in Paris while hanging out with Wulf Zendik and other people who could think.

Look at the images below. These are some original drawings of his that hang in my living room. I like to believe they hold part of his spirit. Can you see the creatures around Anais Nin? First see the houses as mouths. Then see the leaves as mouths. Then notice the creatures around Henry Miller. Pay attention to the record player at the bottom-right of his image as well. With the right kind of eyes there are several other images in those drawings to be seen.

That’s multi-faceted, effortless, Lilith-inspired brilliance at work. A product of The Game.

[su_quote cite=”Henry Valentine Miller”]Art is only a means to life, to the life more abundant. It is not in itself the life more abundant. It merely points the way, something which is overlooked not only by the public, but very often by the artist himself. In becoming an end it defeats itself.[/su_quote]

I read that quote from Henry Miller for the first time over four years ago. I printed it out and hung it up on my wall without truly knowing what he meant. From my perspective, Miller understood that living life for notoriety or the romance of inanimate objects and ideas was not as fulfilling as finding someone to live life with. That that joy of partnership would then produce the flow of creative thought that was desired anyway. Producing a fusion-powered artistic engine that enriched the personal bonds as well.


That’s a good start. It may even be true. I have no way of knowing what Mr. Miller understood. I’d like to believe that I could enrich a relationship with my own burgeoning career as an author. Allowing that joy of her to weave itself into the fairy dust of my creations which would in turn provide us the life we both wanted. It’s my projection and I think it’s my truth too. There is, however, a darker side to this quote. Now that I’ve seen it I can tell you with my own certainty and the word of Mr. Miller’s ghost that he was warning us about something many people have played but not many have talked about. The Game.

In 2009 I began a years-long obsession with blackjack. At the time I was doing well for myself. After climbing out of a serious drug habit that took the lives of some of the people I knew in peaceful, and in violent, ways I turned everything around with the help of theta wave tapes, meditation, and something “else”. Back to the Game for now…

What Is The Game?

It’s been known by many names throughout history:

[su_carousel gallery=”1″ width=”800″ title=”no” autoplay=”2500″ target=”no”][/su_carousel] The Game has been going on for hundreds, if not thousands, of years. The referees are a race of beings named D’jinn who base their beliefs in Mysticism. These Mystics act both in their own interest of integrating with human beings through the game and in the interest of the Scarlet Women. Scarlet Women are women who hold reflections of the energy being known as Lilith. Reflections can be dim or bright, weak or strong. Just as we are all reflections of the same force at the top of the pyramid, some call this God, so too can we hold reflections of energies that are above our consciousness, but below that being, which create smaller, concentric pyramids within the larger one. That’s my interpretation. You are free to have your own. For this story it doesn’t matter what you believe in that regard.

From my personal experience with Lilith, she is a seductive and confidence-building entity that seeks to improve mankind through creation and innovation. To that end, Scarlet Women carry a pattern of behavior that is paradoxical in nature. They are, to the ones who love them, sociopathic. My fear within the Game is that there are human beings who, after learning of the Game from other sources, have decided to misuse the Game and its creative energy by “farming” those women who are uniquely qualified to carry this behavior pattern. Click here to read what I think may be going on in the behavior of bad human beings.

Lilliputians saying Hello on my bed sheet mural.
Lilliputians saying Hello on my bed sheet mural.
Before this breaks down into name calling you should recognize that sociopathic behavior is typically rooted in trauma or birth defect. It can be improved and balanced with awareness that it exists and the patience to deal with it. It cannot be forced from a person. Backing a trauma victim into a corner only traumatizes them more by replaying the harmful events of their past in their minds as a defense mechanism to inform their reactions. This often leads to overreaction and a cycle of violence from the frustrated men and women who don’t understand the person’s inability to show them compassion.

It’s a complex issue that has no cliche solution. If you find yourself in the opposing position to a trauma victim the best thing to do is provide an environment in which they can make mistakes and learn to mimic compassion while improving self-confidence through practicing it. Remember that sympathetic expectations are useful. Pity, rooted in superiority, is not. Violence is the opposite of a good motivation. I’ve found myself yelling into voicemail or saying outrageous things to merely get my Scarlet’s attention for a few minutes. That only works to a point. Then they steel against it to protect their minds from the misery of harmful memories that may have nothing to do with you.

In my experience with a Scarlet I hit the jackpot! A lovable and kind woman I met in Las Vegas. From 2010-2012 we dated with dozens of break-ups. (OK, maybe not so lovable.) Yet I felt an internal pull toward her that was beyond attraction. She is just the woman I’m meant to love. This love cost me everything over and over. Then a surprising thing happened.

In early 2013, I began to see the structure of psychological issues with a certainty I couldn’t explain. I also began to identify and maintain awareness of my own emotional states with specificity – even though the English language has no word for many of our human emotional states. (Which is an open door for manipulators, by the way!) I felt an ease with sharing this awareness and knowledge whenever someone at work or in my daily path seemed to need it. I even spoke to them in plain language metaphors that were surprisingly accurate. Parables. This was all facilitated by a loss of my ego. When loss of ego is coupled with compassion a moment of progress is achieved. I’m able to share all of this because loss of ego also makes it easy for a person to see the true picture of themselves.

The oddity of this situation was also within my awareness. Through off-hand remarks in my relationship with her I decided to read about the “succubus” on the web. She joked once to me that she was one, then laughed her beautful illy laugh. What I found in research was gruesome art and painful stories of terror. A more realistic reference was that of Aleister Crowley and his writings on Babalon and [su_highlight]Choronzon[/su_highlight]. I’d heard of Mr. Crowley before, but didn’t know much about Thelema. I’m no expert on it. I know for a fact that their reverence for and indications of the metaphorical path of someone who loves the Scarlet Woman is truthful. The Game is walking that path.

Many of my photographs are ambiguous to anyone who wants to dismiss them. Here’s one that isn’t. I don’t find this necessarily evil. It’s something that happened. Murals aren’t evil. Just like words are not evil. Actions are evil. Be aware that this is occurring and make sense of it to better society. That would be good.
Another aspect of Thelema I ran into was “devil worship” and human sacrifice. From information I’ve seen, few people actually gave themselves up to sacrifice in pursuit of their higher purpose. I personally wouldn’t try it or endorse it. On balance, it’s not anything to go nuts over. By comparison, war is human sacrifice with a purpose too, and people go along with that every day. As far as devil worship, I’m still reading to understand what’s going on. To believe in a devil, to me, is not mono-theism. I believe in one “whole” which is synonymous with the idea of God I grew up with. Reflections of that light come in all shades. All the way down to darkness. To me, it’s in everyone’s best interest to make progress upward, while lending a hand downward. This is true of spirits too. The D’jinn are real. They are two-dimensional. If accounts online are accurate they also have masters. If that’s true, they need help to make progress and end their slavery. Whether you believe this or not doesn’t matter to the point of the harm which the Game does.

Back to the Game… Just like the film of the same name, the Game enveloped my life. Imagine a checkerboard where the pieces are people. That’s the game. Consciousness descends into you that informs your senses and motivates and suggests actions. It’s up to you to follow or not. The strength of this suggestion presumably varies from person to person. For me, I have free reign over my actions. Only the illusion of the necessity to play the Game in any particular way, or at all, exists. Still, there are strong motivations to join the fun. Coupled with reduced inhibitions to doing so by way of events designed to trigger emotional reaction and weakening of the etheric web that ordinarily protects a person from “unauthorized entry” (through fasting, physical exertion including Sex Magick, use of drugs or sheer spiritual intention) .

Friends From The Underworld

Results of a playful afternoon with friends. This damage was only sheetrock. Wax-on, wax-off of plaster was therapy for my overreactive actions. In society at large, it’s not always so harmless.
Results of a playful afternoon with friends. This damage was only sheetrock. Wax-on, wax-off of plaster was therapy for my overreactive actions. In society at large, it’s not always so harmless.

High Surf, Lifeguard Not On Duty

There are real dangers. The extreme melancholy of the situation creates a kind of vortex that draws you and your immediate vicinity into the action. There’s a method and a purpose to the seemingly mad, excited states that people find themselves in and surrounded by. The purpose of the Scarlet Woman (There’s a Scarlet Man too – Hector.) and traumatic situations in general, is to identify those of strong character who are willing to show compassion in situations that others would run from, exploit or use to gain superiority over the person reacting badly. How then would a woman go about finding these people? Bulk.

The truth is that Scarlet Women and men are sexually giving and often promiscuous. They typically have dull senses of compassion and strong desire for shallow fun. For that reason, they are often at the center of incendiary conflicts which boil over into violence or psychological stress. It’s a vicious cycle that sullies the name of the woman and creates an unbalanced harm that makes her a target for retribution.

The D’jinn and the Scarlets safeguard life in the sense that having a D’jinn inside you gives you energy, keeps you agile and alert. Yet there are many opportunities for harm. The game can be rough if you take it there. Personally, I have a short fuse for the notion of abuse against my Scarlet woman. For that reason, I endured quite a bit of psychological torture. This torture is usually wiped from memory on the request of the participant and through the power of the D’Jinn. Many people see the D’jinn as evil beings. I see them as gatekeepers of ascension that keep considerate people from high achievement using their new skills of thought with no ego. The combination of loss of ego and lack of compassion makes a human being impervious to psychological manipulation and willing to do what they must to achieve their goals without regard for the safety or choice of others. Unfortunately, that type of person would do quite well in the Game.

[su_highlight background=”#ffec19″]The Game rewards sociopaths.[/su_highlight]
[bs_icon name=”glyphicon glyphicon-warning-sign”] WARNING

One of the three judges. He was a hard-ass. But not as scary as he looks.
One of the three judges. He was a hard-ass. But not as scary as he looks.
I destroyed my home during one rough morning that combined a 72-hour sleep deprived day and endless harsh gossip coming at me from multiple voices in all directions with a new harsh story of sex, murder, intimidation, etc every 4 or 5 minutes. We don’t typically consider words as weapons. When you love someone as much as I and others love their Scarlets it can be quite painful. Each negative item was followed by a comment that offered some kind of hope.

For example, “Kelly is at the door in 10 seconds!” after which I would run to the door and look out. No Kelly. But the life size owl was there. My doorman. He would tell me that she just left because I was too slow, or because I was supposed to leave the door wide open and the back door a little bit open to create a draft so she could blow in with the breeze. This culminated in a rage I took out the door of my home due to the sleep deprived delirium.

That day I was told I was on a terrorist kill list due to an old pen name I used (Ewan Dei) to write a short essay describing what the pyramid on the back of the dollar bill really was. Ewan is a Gaelic word meaning “tree” and Dei is a latin term meaning “God”. I thought it was funny to put an Irish and Latin term together because my Scarlet liked to joke that she was an Irish princess and she was actually a Latin American one from San Antonio!

eye[bs_lead]Ewan Dei was my name for the Eye of Providence on the back of American money. It’s an architecture. Not a religion. Yet the architecture explains how multiple religions can exist and why they are all “right”.[/bs_lead]

The police that day had no sense of humor when I ran after an illusion of people who were harming her outside my house. A five-day stay in solitary confinement was its own torture. Charges were later dropped. But in the ensuing uncertainty over money an expensive towing grew into a nightmare to which I lost my nice jet black Saab convertible. The Game is not a joke.

Now, at what feels like the coming end of my Game, I lightly focus on holding the awareness of it all and it doesn’t bother me. Like most struggles in life, the only pain that doesn’t go away is the harm of not trying again until you succeed. Fear, shame, guilt, and intimidation are much worse when looked at in a long-term view of one’s life.

Ironically, at the pinnacle of stress in the Game I found myself relieved to have an audience of dozens of D’jinn during what I thought was a life or death conclusion. Presenting my findings of harm the game does and ways to innovate it into a positive experience that promoted a better world were met with thoughtfulness and respect by an entity named “The Chairman.” In my special circumstance I was then exposed to extreme fear after weeping over her, then screaming out for her. This, of course, attracted more authorities. I slowed my breathing and heartbeat enough to hide under a blanket in the corner of the room.

[bs_lead]I make no excuses for the D’jinn. There were times in the Game I believed them to be friendly and affable characters. One of them named Sindy was particularly nice and friendly. She even let me take her picture. Sindy answered my questions like a good friend and talked like Dora the explorer. Most entities in the game refuse to give their name. Sindy didn’t. Then I was told she had been punished for this by the others, who were of a different family of D’jinn. For that, I felt horrible. Names are a big deal. Just like the Goo Goo Dolls song “Name” says.[/bs_lead]

Other times, the D’jinn are indifferent and callous while watching over my potential death. I noticed a sense of integrity in them, integrity for the game, which gives me the impression of a being beyond savage – as they are often portrayed in online reports. I see both sides. This is definitely not a game for children or unstable minds that do not have the capacity to differentiate real from imaginary or the willingness to do so for indulgence of superiority or conquest.

My D’jinn doorman as seen through the peephole. You can see the D’jinn as solid beings using curved reflective surfaces. Otherwise, they look like translucent jelly forms to the naked eye. The Dark Side of the Moon, as they call it when the Game starts, is not a place. It’s a frequency. You hear it and then you see them using curved reflective surfaces and 2D surfaces like the curtains, wall or floor.

[KGVID poster=”” width=”960″ height=”359″ downloadlink=”true”][/KGVID]

A Million Ways to Make a Mousetrap

While enjoying my initial exploration with the Game I considered it a magical world of adult fun. It was only when I felt threatened by physical harm that I concluded the possibility for harm outside of the game was possible. If you look at every epic story, the epic hero has a personal motivation. Usually a woman. The personal truths he or she uncovers then revolve outward into other truths that reflect that struggle or the truths that are uncovered. Truth always reflects that way. Lies don’t reflect. That’s Sacred Geometry.

For several years I was interested in the meaning of song. Then there was that quote by Henry Miller at the top of the page. During a moment of brilliance within the Game, much like that of an Einstein or Tesla, I put components of the puzzle together with Lilith’s assistance. Mr. Miller railed against the game with a fury. So have many other artists, writers and musicians.


[bs_lead]Here’s the danger as I see it. The game is the reflection of the players and the referees. Most of whom are prone to paradoxical thinking. Strict rule-followers. In my blog post on gladiators I point out how the structure of a story can be just as important as the content. This is true of the game as well. Some have wonderful insight and excellent adventures here. Others feel so poisoned by hate and destruction that they reflect it by destroying themselves in suicide. Whatever the case may be, that’s the role of the epic hero. It’s the price you pay for greatness. Risk. I’d never go skydiving, for instance, but I’d stand in front of a trio of boxers to spare Kelly any harm.[/bs_lead]

Impact on Artists

Artists write about these experiences because they are justifiably excited, confused, in awe or pissed off about them. Some tangentially, others with specificity. Lana Del Rey is a person I admire for her sharp wit while singing about the game. I invited her over and her ghost and I hung out several times while writing. Without having been in the game it’s impossible to notice the references. She mentions “little Scarlet” in a song and something that tastes like Pepsi Cola which is a very important aspect, as it is the gateway into what Crowley called the City of Pyramids.

Even when you aware you might not see the magnitude of the proliferation in Game-based artistic expression. Yet it’s there in force. And whether it’s “African Queen” or “Hell Raiser”, a Bieber ballad or a Weezy rap or the supernatural combination within a Lana Del Rey 007 racecar on the way to a vampire wedding the structure of the art, music, or writing reflects the structure of the Game itself. Paradoxical situations and black-and-white thinking. To be unable or unwilling to think in shades of awareness is paradoxical thinking. That leads to endless war – personally and reflected all the way out to the national level. In this case, I believe that correlation IS causation. Art, literature, and music of the Piscean Age have become overwhelming vehicles of destructive propaganda.

So why would artists, many of whom love the world we live in, continue to write about the adventure? It makes money, for one thing. Whether or not you can hear or see the Game chances are that it’s occurring all around you. Especially when you live in a desert region like Los Angeles where there are many D’jinn and many scarlet women. Essentially, your brain picks up the sights and sounds we would consider “zeitgeist” so that whenever you see or hear those things referenced in art you tend to feel as though the art is “true” or comfortable and you purchase it. Over time though, the verbiage and situation get overused and a feeling of “I’ve seen this before” gives people a sense of nothing else to write about. See my explanation of “The African Queen” below for an understanding of what I mean.

the-african-queen[bs_icon name=”glyphicon glyphicon-film”] The African Queen (1951)

[su_highlight background=”#ffea14″]Roll your mouse over underlined text for more information.[/su_highlight]

Take the African Queen for example. Humphrey Bogart and Katharine Hepburn. [tooltip tip=”I heard that Kelly had burned down the house I stayed at in Alameda as she sat there waiting for me to return.”]At the beginning of the movie there’s a house fire. [/tooltip] and a [tooltip tip=”In my Game it was my grandfather that was in the hospital.”]critically ill relative (Rose’s brother)[/tooltip]. In the movie his name is Samuel Sayer. The [tooltip tip=”Sinead Smyth is the counselor I saw when my ego went away and I wanted to learn to better deal with my Scarlet’s sociopathic behavior so we could reunite successfully.”]”SS” initials are present in the game[/tooltip] as well as several other double-letters within name structures that have an insinuated importance. ([tooltip tip=”My four Christian names are completely asymmetrical. Yet my historical surname contained ZZ. I’m happy to have those just like the band that sang about my hometown of LaGrange, TX.”]CM, MM, LL, NN, MM, DD, YY, ZZ[/tooltip])

There’s an [tooltip tip=”I heard there was a Chinese takeover of America and Texas was one of the only free states left, so I must travel there quickly. Because of the Gin Blossoms song ‘Not Only Numb’ I decided to stay where I played.”]ambiguous war between Germany and Britain[/tooltip] going on. Then Charlie and his Scarlet Woman take a trip down the [tooltip tip=”You linger in the game, or rather it lingers on you.”]Ulanga River[/tooltip] leading to the [tooltip tip=”Yes, after months of trying to see her and losing everything you own it becomes a bore.”] Bora River[/tooltip].

They experience [tooltip tip=”There are three entities sitting in judgment of you.”]three rapids[/tooltip] before getting stuck on a muddy part of the river where [tooltip tip=”There’s an insinuation hat the tremendous writing you do during this time is being stolen via tiny cameras or ghosts looking over your shoulder. Thelemics.”]leeches slow them down[/tooltip].

Once free, Charlie creates what he describes as the most complex item he’s ever made – a torpedo. At the end, [tooltip tip=”I lost my savings and a nice Saab convertible”]he loses all of his worldly possessions[/tooltip] when the African Queen explodes, but [tooltip tip=”I hope so. I really love her.”]he and Rosie swim free[/tooltip]. Instead, the Game says I [tooltip tip=”That line is in the movie Wall Street. Which is a very apropos title. Like the the songs Counting Flowers on the Wall or Wonder Wall. “]may have the shortest career since that Pope that got poisoned[/tooltip]. We’ll see.



That may not seem like a big deal. Couple it with a story that most likely ends with a hero giving up, giving in, or being defeated and the art becomes its own archetype. Everywhere. Reflections of paradoxical tragedy influence “My Way or the Highway” thinking that leads to war, distrust, fractures within society based on one or two strong opinions that villify each other and fissures of men in general. It’s an organic propaganda system that grows a thorny rose from a bed of great achievement and sincere gratitude to society for being a place of magical progress that honors behavior that honors it.

An unlikely friend of mine in the Underworld, claymation style. He has a goofy sense of humor in reality.

[bs_lead]In short, these reflections of paradox may be the single most damaging elements of the Piscean Age. There’s a palpable sense of “roadblock” in some artistic genres like movies. Too many sequels, not enough fresh script. This is one of those signs that the universe sends out to let people know a change is necessary. If you’re in synch you feel it but may not know what the intention or direction of the change should be. A moment of wonder may be the only spark you need to begin that course correction.[/bs_lead]

The important thing is not to resist. Resistance truly is feudal. Those at the top don’t care one way or the other if you resist. This type of change happens every 2,160 years or so. It’s tradition that not many will remember. Just like the people boxed in by paradox, those on the outside of it may feel a growing pressure to do “something” yet feel powerless to stop the momentum of art or not agree that they should.

[bs_icon name=”glyphicon glyphicon-bullhorn”] ADVICE

Be the change and the energetic pattern with your own thoughts on innovation. Start a new Renaissance. Resist the crutch of writing about your Scarlet adventure. Instead, write using structures found in your own life that may have felt mundane and make them magical by immortalizing them as your own structure. That’s what real leadership is all about. If you’re an artist that has lived a life story worth imitating then sing it so people can do so. The Scarlet adventure may be the most supernatural thing out there, but to imitate or glorify it is nothing but torture.

If you’ve never experienced the Game, love someone you may have shunned for superficial reasons. Maybe you’ll be the lucky one who tells us what the next archetype adventure feels like. Or maybe you’ll be the lucky one who calls her up when she finally picks up the phone.

The Human Element

As a side note to this ordeal, during my stay in Alameda the D’jinn were some cool cats. There were some issues, like a tiny laser beam coming from a piece of old video conversion hardware I had that was retrofitted to do whatever some ignorant genius decided was relevant. But Lilith and the D’jinn are real. As I drove down Interstate 5 to my motel rest stop I was protected by angels balancing lumber in their palm. I was escorted by bikers. I spent a moment with none of my four available tires on the road.

By the time I got to my condo I needed to rest. I closed my eyes for a few minutes and was immediately recharged. That’s around the time that Lilith appeared both in image like the other D’jinn, and with a halo similar to a disco ball’s light. She was an amazing entity. Yet one of the first things she said to me was, “Don’t talk loud. Be careful. They are here trying to capture us.”

I deduce from my experience that the D’jinn exist on frequencies that only animals other than humans can easily hear or see. Perhaps when the D’jinn possess someone they purposefully alter specific vibrations in that person which trigger the ability to seem and hear them. I used my cell phone to record my doorman once or twice. Since it worked, I assume they were either becoming more and more available to the visible spectrum, or that change in me existed in my aura such that anything else within it, like my camera, would be able to see them too.

I discovered some interesting patents within the Army Corps that were decades old that seemed relevant to the ability to see into both planes of existence at once and to read thoughts. Therefore, there’s a possibility that when the D’jinn identify you as someone to enter the Game that their magic also spawns particular frequencies which our secret agencies may be particularly good at seeing. If there are Lilith and D’jinn hunters, my suggestion is to use your judgment. If what’s in your room is being nice to you, be nice to them.

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