To many people getting along well in modern society, the proliferation of sociopathic tendencies has gone unnoticed. Using phrases such as “it’s my job” or cliches which mask identity of groups of people in order to take their money or choice away in our business lives is so common it belies the fact that ability to feel is a fundamental architecture of good judgment. Like most dangerous cycles it feeds on itself until a breakdown occurs which forces a change.
Luckily, we have wisdom too. Wisdom in the form of history. In the art, the paintings, literature, satirical theater and religious texts the truth rises. Tens of thousands of places at once which reflect and duplicate the common elements of our shared paths into a manifestation of our hearts, dreams and histories. A grimore of speaking spells which put the magic back in miracles where they belong. In the hands of those who rise to them, not to those that practice for an intended target using history as an anchor.
Whether you feel disconnected from your community in material imbalance, ability to control the mechanisms of life which give others freedom and confidence, the sensible nature that gives you unease when working within structures of society that “feel” awkward without reason, or a very real and traumatic distancing through deadened emotional sensitivity the solution is to improve your emotional intelligence first as a means to re-develop your good judgment.
Here’s an example of how good judgment becomes eroded. Think about the shock and awe campaign of the Iraqi War. Imagine being someone planted in the middle of that rage or assigned to the cleanup in the aftermath of the devastation. Being caught between the explanations of freedom and the truth of resentment on the ground, the fear of being blown up on your way to each destination, etc. Over the course of a tour of duty your emotions erode as a defense mechanism for the brain to avoid overload that could splinter your personality and leave you incapacitated or with severe personality disorder. Turning off your ears and heart to cries from people in need who might be a harm is trained into your brain as a necessary evil. Just like war.
Now imagine coming back home. You are deadened to the feelings of others. The deadly cruel tricks of improved bombs that made distrust of the locals across the world a good habit become a torture sentence back in America. That sociopathy is an improvable situation. Yet because no one understands it, wants to hear about it or else labels it incorrectly as something you “just need to get over” the issues project outward looking for resolution. When they do, other people are taken advantage of to set up social interaction “education moments” that the individual cannot make on their own without returning to the intense fear of their own situation. In many cases, the only way to even approach the problem is by turning it into a fetish or luxury that can be controlled within the mind as a false good. Without intentional change, the feelings of good take the place of heartfelt truthful progress and judgment. You end up embracing and becoming a new creator of the same harm that was experienced on a smaller scale.
One way I got over my fear related to a PTSD event was with meditation. Simple calm for 15-20 minutes a day and visualizations help the mind find a better metaphor through guided practice. In my case, I visualized what I call the grail, or guard rail, or human progress. Imagine a fiber optic cable with everyone’s soul path in it. The grail to me is all of them bound as a societal path of pure white light progress. Now visualize your current life and where it is on your timeline. Imagine pulling back from the line and seeing this expressed as 5, then 10, then 20 years of your life and how it has evolved. When viewing this from the distance of a day or week it looks like a wave. Pulling back helps you recognize that your line is actually a line of continual progress. The only truth consistent over time is progress.
Continue pulling back farther until you can see your entire lifetime. Imagine a veil between two of them. Do you know why the veil is there? Imagine that tour in Iraq. What if you didn’t forget your previous life and took that baggage across the threshold with you to the next one? You would inevitably build harm with enough breadth to turn you into a totally emotion-free scientific powerhouse with poor judgment. The soul path would turn unnaturally downward as a result. Not progress. Not nature. Not true.
When I did this exercise while fiddling around with meditation in February 2013 I was amazed. I used to feel tingles and lightning bolts of paranoid anxiety at night when alone surrounded by footsteps, voices of couples on their jogs, etc. Irrational fears. After feeling prepared from meditating I opened the window and simply asked whatever wanted to scare me to simply kill me then or go away. It’s not as simple a process as it sounds when you recognize I’d held that PTSD for a decade. Time passing helped too. I’m sure the related meditation I did irregularly and the fact that I had just found a new joy of writing in my life helped bring this about as well. Oddly enough, I was even thinking how cool it would be if I had discovered something new. Within a few days I discovered that the legendary Dr. Zimbardo had published a book a few months prior which discussed visualization of the timeline. Validation feels good too.
For those of you that are caught feeling like you have poor judgment simply because you aren’t currently fulfilling someone else’s idea of what your life should hold please take another look with this in mind. Perhaps you were harmed greatly in your last life. Perhaps the veil keeps your mind from weighing you down with memories of the harm, yet your soul is ready for a break already. In the course of a soul’s life it’s not such a major failure to spend 20 or 30 years doing well in a flat line. Why not? As long as this doesn’t become an excuse for facing challenges and your heart tells you to find its joy in a job that might not bring you wealth but offers you fulfillment then it’s probably the right thing for you.
Increasing numbers of people are trapped in lives they lie for money perceived as necessary prerequisites to the life they really want to achieve. Projections again appear to thwart buildup of internal guilt and manifest as behavior control on those around us. Diminished emotions from too much applied guilt rear their horns. Take small chances in environments that offer you no embarrassment or guilt. Build confidence with small successes that you visualize before you put your body in motion of achieving them. Let the calm build in you until it becomes confidence, repairs emotional depth and heals your judgment.